Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is [name] and I am honoured to be the best man. As some of you know, [groom] and I have been friends for what feels like a lifetime. When he approached me to be his best man I thought ‘after everything he has done for me over the years, how could I say no?’[Groom] taught me how to play poker when we were 10 years old and then robbed me blind. [Groom] tricked me into trading my prized [name a valuable possession – eg – gold necklace] in return for a worthless [name something worthless- eg- G.I. Joe action figure].
Some of you may be wondering, why on earth would gorgeous girl like [bride] decide to marry [groom]? I asked groom that same question after a few gin and tonics, I might add, and his response was [enter something that the groom has a tendency to say] ‘I dunno, it’s not my looks, it’s not my charm, I’m disorganized and I forget important dates like anniversaries. I’m trying not to think about it.’
So I took to the streets and asked the blushing bride what she saw in [groom]. Her response was a little more tender. She said – ‘he treats me like a queen. I couldn’t imagine that I would be loved the way he does.”
After observing the two of them together over the last [enter number of years] I cannot disagree with her. [Groom] looks at [bride] with puppy dog eyes and he has indeed found his queen. I have no doubts that he will be a devoted husband because [groom] has always been a loyal and trustworthy friend. He is the type of person who gives you his word and sticks to it…unless of course you’re playing poker or as a matter of fact dealing with money! I’ve been in a few pickles over the years and the first person I call is [groom].
For example, at the wedding rehearsal there was a lot of fighting between which bridesmaid would get a chance to walk down the aisle with me. It was [groom] who rescued me from being caught in the middle of the catfight. In all seriousness, the ravishing bridesmaids did a wonderful job today. From the wedding rehearsals through to [Maid of Honour’s] touching speech, they all went beyond the call of duty. Except of course according to my book of wedding etiquette they are supposed to turn their attention to me which has not come even close to happening yet. The night is still young.
Traditionally the father of the bride toasts the lucky couple but I would like to toast them again.
May [groom] and [bride] be blessed with a marriage that is joyous, fulfilling each and every day.