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Conquer the nerves

The groom’s speech has finished, he’s introduced you and it’s time to stand and deliver the best man’s speech – aka the funny part.

Although the day is all about the happy couple, wedding guests can judge your words, and therefore you, as either the party’s life and soul or the party pooper. You may know that you’ve got the personality to make it the former but if nerves stop your charm shining through then it could be the latter. Fortunately, there are simple steps that the best man can take to stop this travesty.

Positive Thinking

It’s a cliché to say that the room is on your side and dying for you to be funny, but clichés often arise because they are true. This is one such case and it’s something you need to keep firmly in mind as the best man’s speech unfolds.

So far, so good. The next subject that is often debated is to drink or not to drink. While everyone’s tipping point is different, and the trick is to find yours beforehand, there is an optimum amount of alcohol to have had. The amount that relaxes you just enough to not think too much and simply be yourself, without starting to lose the necessary cognitive and speech powers.

Think of your last work’s do. At what point did you start becoming the social butterfly bursting with conversation interesting for everyone. But at the same time stay easily restrained enough not to make a fool of yourself or offend anyone? That’s the point you may want to aim for but if you get it a little wrong it’s best to undershoot rather than overshoot. Remember, if you do a good job you’ll get all manner of people buying you drinks to help make up for any lost time.

Diverting Attention

Composure is the key and breaking up the best man’s speech with parts where you can take a breather is an option. This could be a slide show, video or audio recording of the groom. If you know this opportunity is coming then it’s easier to relax as the rest doesn’t seem so daunting.

If you can get one, use a microphone. The obvious reason is that you won’t have to worry that the whole room can hear your words of wisdom. The less obvious reason is it gives your hands something to do rather than alternate between your pockets, behind your back or folded against your chest. And lets face it, everyone feels just a little bit cooler speaking into a microphone – it kind of implies what you’re saying is worth listening to.

Ultimately, confidence comes from believing in what you’re delivering. So be sincere and even in the raucously funny parts load in some personal detail for both bride and groom. That way everyone stays on side and remains firmly rooting for you to be a success.

Additional Help & Support

If you’d some additional support – and many people do by the way – then there are people who specialise in helping others deal with their nerves. One such person who our readers have recommended before, and who can assist in this area, is communication expert Sara Wolff. Sara has been helping lots of different people confront and overcome their fears of public speaking since 2007 by using a number of advanced techniques that she shares with her clients including NLP.

If your fear of standing up in front of all the guests on your best mate’s big day is going to stop you enjoying it altogether, then here’s your chance to get it sorted and use all that worry time to focus on writing some outrageously good content for your speech instead.

To help our readers Sara has kindly agreed to provide a discount to iamthebestman patrons. Just quote BESTMAN to get a 5% discount from your first session. To find out more or to book a session with her in person or via Skype click on the link Easy Public speaking.