7 Mistakes to Avoid when Making a Best Man Speech
Best man articles, Speech — By ollylucan on August 18, 2014 3:20 amThe Pope’s Catholic. Bears crap in woods. Some things in life are just that obvious. You’d have thought such sage advice as ‘don’t mention the ex’, would be also fit neatly in to the box ‘what not to do when making a best man speech’, but my friends, you’d be surprised. Here are 7 mistakes that best men seem to make, time and time again – don’t let it be you…
1. Improvise your Best Man Speech
Having once chatted to a fairly well known comedian, I was surprised to learn that a lot of the improv in stand-up routines is actually planned. What looks like off cuff wit and hilarity is, in many cases, scripted. On quizzing him further, he explained that it was too risky and could throw them off what is essentially a well practiced script. Whilst this was initially disappointing to learn, it is nonetheless understandable on reflection. Why am I telling you this? Because if guys who do this for a living, and best in class don’t do it, then take their lead! Learn from the experts. Keep to the script for your best man speech jokes and you’ll avoid something coming out with something you shouldn’t.
2. Go on for too long
I’ve seen Best Mans speeches run so far over, the crowd started talking amongst themselves. Different people will give you different opinion on how long best man speeches should be, but the general consensus is no longer than 10 minutes. Convoluted stories, too many of them or an overblown set piece can do more harm than good. Less is more as the saying goes.
3. Assassinate the Groom
This is perhaps the most common mistake Best Men make in speeches that don’t land well. It’s not that the Best Man plans to cause offence, it’s the simple reason that they underestimated where the line of acceptable ends. You say tomatoes, I say tomatoes. What you find funny, Auntie Maureen may not. It’s not easy and that’s why its one of the more common mistakes. How do you mitigate this risk such that you don’t step over the line? Get some counsel. If you’re concerned it’s risky, run it past someone else who’s close to him. Go to someone outside of your own peer group. The lads will probably find it funny but this is not the audience who are at risk of offence. Instead try your old lady, someone at work or a relative. Their reaction will be enough to make the judgement. If they give you the thumbs up, then you’ve got yourself some
4. Sexual Gags
Ever had that excruciating experience of having to sit through a sex scene on TV in the same room as your parents?! Telling a shag gag to an audience consisting of parents and grandparents may induce a similar sense of cringe that you’re really better off avoiding. A bit of implied smut is fine in any bestman speech but mention of genitalia or sexual acts is better left for a more receptive audience down the boozer on a Friday night.
5. Mention the Ex or a previous marriage
I had friend, let’s call him Pete, who split up with his fiancée shortly before the stag do, which had already been booked. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, the stag weekend in Amsterdam went ahead and the trip went as well as could be expected under the circumstances. Years later when Pete got married to another girl, the Best Man thanked him for allowing him to take on the role for a second time and remarked that Pete was the only man he knew to be single at his own stag do. Tumble weeds blew, the carpet felt a hundred eyes on it and the Best Mans speech was the talking point of the evening for all the wrong reasons. Go down the route of referencing an ex and you’re playing with fire.
6. Money
‘I know I shouldn’t mention this but it’s great that your new wife is rich’. Yep, someone actually said that. To an audience of over 100 people. Brave? Arguably. Risky? Certainly. Inappropriate? Without a doubt. When people go and talk to their bank manager, the conversation doesn’t take place at the counter, or any other public space. Instead, they go to an area where there is privacy and discussed confidentially. There’s a reason for this – money is a sensitive subject and so raising it as a punchline can be a risky business that can backfire.
7. Stag Do Stories
We’ve all heard the mantra of what goes on tour stays on tour which is fairly obvious in reference to unmentionable mistermeaners, but the other thing to bear in mind here is that, as content it can be quite exclusive. In other words, if you tell stag do stories, for the most part you’re catering for a relatively small part of the audience – attendees of the stag weekend. In a Best Mans speech you need to be inclusive such that it caters for, and appeals to everyone. For that reason you’re probably better off steering clear of the stag do as part of the speech material.
Best Man Speech Help
It’s not easy writing a best man speech and is a lot to ask of anyone. If you need help with a best man speech than by all means drop me a line. We have a library of free Best Man speeches to choose from, advice on delivery and a team of professional speech writers who can conjure something up that will heed all of these rules and ensure you have peace of mind.
Now if this little lot isn’t enough for you, then you may also want to check out a related article, which features yours truly, published by our friends over at the Wedding Secret. Check it out peeps.
To get in touch contact me direct at oliver@iamthebestman.co.uk or hit ‘Like’ below
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