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Brother Speech #4

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So we’re nearly done but first it is an honour to be asked to say a few words about Simon.. It‘s extra special for me because as his younger Sibling.. I always looked up to my Brother.. Well at least until he stopped growing at the age of 3

Whether it is my job or not to embarrass Simon slightly here on this occasion… I have decided I should at least try…
[Picture 1 Baby]

Starting at the beginning.. My Brother Simon was born back in 1976.
This was incidentally was the driest year on record since 1727. We do believe this is the reason Si appears slightly shrivelled.

[Picture 2 – Ugly Primary School Photo]

Simon was an unusual looking child… With his National Health specs, Mop of golden hair and very large teeth.. I wouldn’t call him ugly exactly… but it is only in hindsight I’ve realised why Gran used to knit him all those full face balaclavas at Christmas

This however did not stop Si making friends as a child.. In fact he was something of a social wizard back in those days. And as I firmly believe it was these Friendships that have moulded the man you see before you today.. I would just like to mention Si’s 2 best friends from his early years who unfortunately can’t be here with us. The first of these friends is actually in this picture sitting next to Him… It’s Si’s Imaginary Friend.. Called Oddie.. And of course, who could forget The other great Relationship from those Days..

[Picture 3 Si With Fieldmouse…]

The Field Mouse he found in the back Garden…

So with these Strong Social bonds in place… Si’s development from child to Man was the best anyone could hope for really… I’m banned by Lyste Family law to tell stories and give detail about what are known as Si’s “wilderness years”. But I find this censorship forced on me quite a shame.. As Si’s late teen’s and Early twenties were a time of Great achievement for Him, Firstly of course because met Sarah during that time..

But we must not forget his other main focus in those years.. His valiant attempt to beat the West Cumbrian Car Crash Record… something he came so close to doing..

Sarah, I’m sure everyone will agree with me when I say you look absolutely stunning today. What a wonderful girl you are. Kind.. Caring… Beautiful… You have stuck with my brother through both thick [look at Si’s head] and thin… I can think of no one more deserving of a good Husband than you Sarah… So we are eternally thankful that Si married you before you could find one..

But I do think you owe me some thanks too Sarah.. For it was part of my extensive list of duties on this amazing day… To keep Simon’s ex Girlfriends away… Although I must admit Ladies and Gentleman… That I did get some help on that… from the recent foot and mouth outbreak…

Joking aside I do have some serious stuff I would like to say. And I Know for certain I won’t get the opportunity again… Standing here on my brother’s wedding day… In the company of so many family and friends, I feel slightly overwhelmed by an unusual sense of affection towards Simon.
I’ve realised today that my Cruel, annoying older brother, who once hung me from a tree by my ankles for half a day, and whom I grew up predominately arguing with.. Is actually.. well.. pretty.. er…alright… I suppose…

It is impossible to summarise the last 29 years I have known Si, but I would like to say that over those years, he has been the best anyone could hope for in a brother. Admittedly as his only brother.. It is not the greatest survey ever done. But in my limited experience of Brothers, I’d have to say pretty much a 10 out of 10..

And I know that Si will maintain these high standards as a loving husband to Sarah.. I’m sure everybody agrees you make a great couple, and it’s just been fantastic to be a part of this celebration of your clear love towards each other..

So I would like everybody in the room to now be upstanding one last time please.. As I propose a toast to the Happy Couple.. Simon and Sarah…