Rock Climbing Stag Do

A rock climbing stag do puts the stag somewhere I like him to be. Halfway up a wall, clinging on, asking everyone below very politely not to laugh. Depending on the venue, you might even be one of the lads holding his rope. I can’t think of a better position for a best man.

There are two ways to do it. Indoors, on a climbing or bouldering wall in town, with crash mats, chalk and a café. Or outdoors on real rock, with a qualified instructor setting up the ropes and keeping everyone in one piece. Both are hard work, both are safe when run properly, and both make that first pint taste brilliant.

Indoor walls and bouldering are where I’d start a mixed group. Most big towns and cities have one, so there’s no long drive and the weather can do what it likes. Bouldering means short climbs without ropes over thick mats, which is perfect for beginners and very good for watching grown men fall off a purple hold onto their backsides. Roped walls go higher, and most centres run a taster session or induction for groups so nobody is left guessing.

Outdoor climbing is the proper adventure. The Peak District is the classic spot in England, with gritstone edges that climbers travel a long way for, and you’ll find instructor-led sessions in the Lake District, Snowdonia and on plenty of sea cliffs too. The instructor handles the ropes, the anchors and the pep talk. You handle the heckling from the bottom.

If the group is split between keen and terrified, indoors is kinder. If they’ve been nagging you for something “a bit different”, take them outside.

Climbing rewards balance, grip and stubbornness more than big muscles. That means the gym lad with the huge arms often gets beaten up the wall by the skinny one, and nobody will ever let him forget it.

It’s harder going for anyone with a real fear of heights, though plenty of people surprise themselves. It also suits smaller groups, as people climb in turns. With a big gang, ask the venue how many can climb at once so half the lads aren’t stood around for an hour.

Want to dress the stag up? A superhero suit is the obvious choice, and the photos are worth it. Check with the venue first, as loose costumes and harnesses don’t always get on.

• What to wear. Stretchy trousers or shorts and a T-shirt. Climbing shoes are usually available to hire. Jeans are a bad idea, trust me.
• The booze rule. Not before and not during. Climbing with a hangover is grim, and instructors can and will stop anyone who’s had a drink.
• Weight and health limits. Most providers have some, so ask before you book.
• Timing. A morning or early afternoon session leaves the evening free. Your forearms will be useless for lifting pints for the first hour anyway.

Climbing sits nicely alongside other outdoor stuff. Do a hike the next day, go underground with caving, or keep the heights theme going on a high ropes course. For a city base near the Peak District, Sheffield has a big climbing scene and no shortage of pubs. Matching T-shirts from our stag do accessories make your lot easy to spot on a busy wall.