Portsmouth Stag Do

Portsmouth is Britain’s only island city, and it has the naval swagger to go with it. A Portsmouth stag do mixes waterfront bars, the seaside resort of Southsea, a big student crowd and a long history of sailors letting off steam on shore leave. Your stag is simply carrying on a fine local tradition.

Being on the coast, the days can be spent on the water, and the nights run from proper real-ale pubs to big-name bars and clubs. It’s all close together, which keeps the taxi bill and the stragglers to a minimum.

With the Solent on the doorstep, I’d get the lads on the water. Powerboating, sailing and other watersports run from around the harbour, and a boat party is the best icebreaker going if half the group have never met. Do it on day one. A boat on Sunday morning is just a floating hangover.

On dry land, go karting and paintball are easy to find in the area. For something a bit different, the Historic Dockyard has HMS Victory, the Mary Rose and HMS Warrior, and the Spinnaker Tower gives you a view right over the harbour (plus a glass floor to stand the stag on). The hovercraft over to the Isle of Wight is a laugh too, if only to say you’ve been on one.

There are a few distinct areas, each with its own feel. Gunwharf Quays is the waterfront spot, with big-name bars and plenty of seating, so it’s good for a first drink. Guildhall Walk is the main city-centre strip, full of bars and clubs and handy for the station. Albert Road in Southsea is my pick for a pub crawl, with independent pubs, tap houses and a proper mix of locals.

Look out for local beer too. Portsmouth has its own small breweries, and a pint brewed down the road always tastes better than one brewed anywhere else. That’s just science.

Between pubs, take a wander along Southsea seafront and send the stag onto the beach to complete a few stag do dares in front of the dog walkers. Nothing bonds a group like watching the groom serenade a seagull.

Trains run from London and along the South Coast into Portsmouth and Southsea and Portsmouth Harbour stations. By road, the M27 and A3(M) bring you into the city. Once you’re there it’s compact, and taxis run between Southsea, Gunwharf and the centre.

Neighbouring Southampton offers a similar waterfront weekend, and Brighton is along the coast if you fancy a second night somewhere else.

• Go in the warmer months. The seafront and the watersports are at their best from late spring to early autumn.
• Check the football. When Pompey are at home at Fratton Park, the city fills up on match day. Either get tickets or plan around it.
• Book water activities well ahead. They depend on the weather, so ask what happens if they cancel and have a plan B ready for your Portsmouth stag weekend.
• Bring ID. It’s a student city, so bars and clubs often check.
• Pack a jacket. The seafront can be breezy even in summer, and a stag in a thin costume on a boat gets cold very quickly.

Portsmouth is compact, so you can’t go far wrong, but I’d still pick the base around the kind of night the group wants. For the big one, stay near Guildhall Walk, the main city-centre strip of bars and clubs. It’s handy for the station too, so the lads coming down by train can drop their bags and get straight to it.

If your group leans more towards a decent pint than a sticky dance floor, Southsea is the better shout. Albert Road has the independent pubs and tap houses, and the seafront is right there for a wander between them. Gunwharf Quays works as a first-drink stop from either base, and taxis run between Southsea, Gunwharf and the centre when walking stops being an option.

My practical tip: check the fixtures before you book. When Pompey are at home at Fratton Park, the city fills up on match day, so either build the weekend around the game or pick another date.

Friday Get the train from London into Portsmouth and Southsea or Portsmouth Harbour, check in, and head to Gunwharf Quays for a first drink on the waterfront. If the group needs an icebreaker, book a comedy night so the lads who’ve never met have something to laugh at other than the stag. Finish on Guildhall Walk, but not too late.

Saturday Get on the water while everyone’s still functional. Powerboating, sailing and boat parties run on the Solent, so book well ahead and have a weather plan B. Mine would be paintballing or go karting, both easy to sort in the area. Pack a jacket, because the seafront is breezy even when it looks warm. In the evening, do a proper crawl along Albert Road in Southsea, then take the survivors back to Guildhall Walk for the clubs. Bring ID, since bars and clubs often check.

Sunday No boats today. I’d keep it gentle with the Historic Dockyard, where you’ve got HMS Victory, the Mary Rose and HMS Warrior, or the Spinnaker Tower for the harbour views and that glass floor to stand the stag on. Anyone with the energy can ride the hovercraft over to the Isle of Wight, just to say you’ve been on one, before a slow walk along Southsea seafront between pubs.