Tradition says the father of the bride does the talking. It’s finally dawning on people that, other than “tradition”, there’s no reason it should always be the men who get to speak. So if you’ve found yourself with a mother of the bride speech to write, you’re far from the first, and you’re in good company. Nobody knows your daughter quite like you do. The trick is getting that across to the woman herself and to a room full of people, without rambling, crying before the first joke, or thanking the venue’s cat. Here’s what to include, how long to speak, a structure that works, two full example speeches and a few tips. The rest of this site is written for best men, so bear with us if the odd pint sneaks in.
Does the mother of the bride give a speech?
Sometimes, and more often every year, though weddings with one are still in the minority. Usually there’s a reason. Dad isn’t around, dad doesn’t want to speak, dad has realised you’re better at it, both parents want a go, or you’re simply the best person in the room to talk about your daughter. None of those needs explaining to the guests.
If you’re speaking because the father of the bride has passed away, a reference to him is necessary. It needn’t be long, speaking at length could reduce you and the bride to tears, but it should be meaningful. Let people know he is missed by many, raise a glass to him, and move on. Otherwise, it’s up to you whether you mention that it’s a little different for mum to be speaking. There’s an ice breaking joke in it if you want one, but ultimately your gender is unimportant. Mum or dad, the job is to let everyone know why you’re proud of your daughter, and to make her feel the same way about you.
Doing a joint speech with her dad, or two separate ones? You get more time, but it isn’t twice the people, twice the length. Between you, aim for not much more than 15 minutes. Our father of the bride speech page covers his half, and the order of wedding speeches explains where the parents fit on the day.
What a mother of the bride speech should include
The mother of the bride speech and the father of the bride speech have a large crossover, because you’re both parents. The structure is the same; what changes is the flavour. Even the same two parents will have different perspectives on their daughter, and that’s what you want to get across. The jobs are:
- Introduce yourself and welcome everyone. It’s probably obvious who you are, but you’ll want to be known by a name rather than “(Bride’s) mum” or “(Groom’s) new mother in law”. Thank the guests for coming.
- A few specific thank yous. Dad, unless he has never been on the scene. Grandparents or a friend who has always been there for her. Possibly the bridesmaids, for what they’ve been to her generally. Don’t double up with other speakers and don’t do the caterers, the waiting staff or the venue’s pet cat.
- Your daughter. The main event. How you feel about her and why, with real life examples. If she always puts others before herself, tell the story of a time she did.
- The groom. It’s his day too and half the room is there for him. A few kind words about his qualities and why he’ll be a good husband. Even if he isn’t your ideal choice, say something positive and don’t damn with faint praise.
- The toast. A little advice, from your own marriage or some romantic words adapted to suit the two of them, then raise a glass to the newlyweds.
On tone, humour is more than allowed. Funny stories about the bride’s quirks go down well, as long as you are laughing with her, not at her. One trick is to find a theme. If you share a job, say teaching, the speech could be an extended report card grading her on punctuality (lateness) and organisation (dis).
How long should a mother of the bride speech be
The usual guidance is no shorter than six minutes, no longer than ten, and seven to ten is a decent target. We’re a little more flexible. If, and only if, you have the quality of content, let that dictate the quantity. The belief that guests want short and sweet isn’t necessarily true. What they want is to be kept engaged, by being made to laugh, moved, or interested to hear more. Do some or all of that and nobody minds eleven or twelve minutes. Remember a read through at home is quicker than the speech on the day.
Mother of the bride speech structure (a simple template)
Some people like to throw away the rule book and go maverick. Fine. But this order covers everything and still lets you put your own stamp on it.
- Introduction. Who you are, welcome, thank you for coming. If you want to, a line about mum doing the honours.
- Thank yous. Thank people for what they’ve done for your girl. That links straight into the bride.
- Your daughter. Her personality as a child and which traits have survived. The funny and embarrassing things she said or did as a youngster. Her achievements and what makes you most proud. One or two special moments the pair of you shared.
- The groom. His qualities, why he’s good for her, a welcome.
- Advice and toast. Funny, poignant or both, then raise a glass.
Rule one is don’t sit straight down and start writing. Brainstorm first, on your own or with someone who knows her well (one of her siblings, or one of yours). What are her main personality traits, and how have they changed from child to woman? What funny things did she do as a youngster? What has she achieved? Which moments do the two of you share? Jot it all down, then sift: what definitely goes in, what gets lower priority, and what, sadly, gets canned. Keep each part snappy, and sound like you. Your own words and turns of phrase are what make it heartfelt and original.
A note on the examples
These are not real mums’ speeches. They are templates built from the structure and sample lines in our writers’ guide, with (Bride), (Groom) and (Dad) placeholders. Swap in your own names and stories, and change any line that doesn’t sound like you.
Mother of the bride speech examples
A short, simple mother of the bride speech example
Does every job in about four minutes. Add one or two of your own stories where marked.
Good afternoon everyone. For those who only know me as (Bride’s) mum or (Groom’s) new mother in law, I’m (Name). Tradition says dad does this bit, but today you’ve got me, so settle in. On behalf of (Bride) and (Groom), thank you all for being here. Some of you have come a long way and it means the world to them to have you in the room.
A few people to thank. (Dad), for being a wonderful father to our girl. I may be the one speaking but he is every bit as proud as I am. (Groom’s parents), thank you for raising such a lovely man and for welcoming (Bride) into your family so warmly. And to (Bride’s) bridesmaids, who have been there for her through everything, long before today.
Now, (Bride). I remember the day you were born as if it were yesterday. (A sentence or two about the day.) You were (a trait: stubborn, curious, bossy, kind) from the very start, and I’m pleased to report nothing has changed. (One short childhood story that shows that trait.)
What has changed is everything else. You have grown into a woman who (her qualities, with one real example: the time she put someone else first, what she has achieved, how she treats people). Watching you do that has been the greatest privilege of my life, and I could not be prouder of you.
(Groom), from the first time (Bride) brought you home it was obvious how happy you make her. You are kind, you are patient, and you clearly adore her, which is all a mother can ask for. Welcome to the family. You are stuck with us now.
So, a little advice from someone who has been married a while. Marriage is about give and take, and occasionally about biting your lip. Do that, keep laughing together, and you’ll be fine. Everyone, please raise your glasses. To (Bride) and (Groom)!
A funny mother of the bride speech example (the report card)
The same skeleton with a theme running through it. Here it’s a school report, which works if you’re a teacher or just a mum who has signed a lot of them.
Good afternoon everyone. I’m (Name), (Bride’s) mum, and the one who did the actual work of bringing her up while (Dad) took the photos. He has very kindly let me do the speech today, mainly because he knows I’d have corrected his anyway. On behalf of the bride and groom, thank you all for coming. You have made this day even more special for them, and you have brought gifts, which (Bride) has already noticed.
Thank you to (Dad), who is just as proud as I am and will be crying before I finish this sentence. To (Groom’s parents), for welcoming (Bride) into your family, and for (Groom), who we’ll come to. And to (Bride’s) bridesmaids, who have known her long enough to have the stories I’m not allowed to tell.
Now, I have (signed/read) a lot of school reports in my time, so I thought I would give (Bride) one last one. Punctuality: needs improvement. She was late for her own birth and has not been early for anything since. (One lateness story.) Organisation: (Bride) has a system. Nobody else understands the system, but there is a system. Effort: outstanding. Whatever (Bride) does, whether it was (school, her job, her hobby), she throws herself into it with a determination to be the best she can possibly be. And conduct: she is kind, she is loyal, and she looks after everyone around her. (One real example.) Overall grade: as a daughter, top of the class. Her mother is very proud.
Which brings me to (Groom). I will be honest, when (Bride) first told me about him I had questions. Most mums do. Then I met him, and the questions stopped. He is (his qualities), he makes her laugh, and when you see the two of them together it is obvious they are made for each other. (Groom), welcome to the family. You have passed with distinction.
A little advice to finish. Never go to bed on an argument, because you’ll get twice as mad when (Groom’s) snoring keeps you awake. Look after each other, and keep laughing. Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom!
Tips for a nervous mum
Even the most seasoned speaker gets butterflies, so a few nerves are fine. The first thing to remember is that you have a very generous crowd. Nobody has turned up to heckle the mother of the bride. They are rooting for you.
- Prepare and practise. A lot. Start by saying it out loud on your own, then graduate to someone you trust who will give an honest appraisal. The more familiar you are with the material, the more natural you sound.
- Have a copy with you, or at least prompt cards. If your mind goes blank, you have a way back. But try not to simply read it; the words sound wooden. Aim for the way you’d chat to your best friend over coffee.
- Glass of water within reach. Throats go dry.
- Work out the mic beforehand. Where to hold it so you’re heard without deafening the room.
- A glass or two of your favourite bevvy to steady yourself is fine. That’s the limit. A half drunk speaker is never at her best.
- Steer clear of the well worn lines. “Even the cake is in tiers” and “someone you can’t live without” have been heard before. You’ve known her for decades, use your own words.
More on nerves in conquer the nerves, and on the mechanics of standing up in a room in public speaking.
Need a hand writing it?
Giving order and sense to all the thoughts in your head, so the room knows exactly what you mean, is the part people struggle with. If you’d like help, our speech writing service writes mother of the bride speeches too. Our team has written hundreds of wedding speeches and knows what works.
Your writer: Helene. Helene writes our speeches for women. In her words: “I love the process of getting to know the people I write for, your daughter, and the special bond you share. I dive into the sea of ideas swirling in your mind and craft a heartfelt, flowing speech that everyone enjoys.”
- Fill in a questionnaire about you, your daughter and the memorable moments you’ve shared.
- Have a call with your writer, the same person who writes the speech, to talk through your answers, early thoughts on structure and timings.
- Get your speech by the agreed date. Most people love the first draft. If not, amendments are part of the service right up to the day, as far as “rip it up and start again”. Still unhappy? Full refund.
It’s £299, we work to your deadline whether the wedding is two years away or this weekend, and it will be written to sound like you. Not everyone wants people to know they had help, and as far as we’re concerned, mum’s the word.
Speaking alongside her dad? Read the father of the bride speech page too. If the bride herself is planning to say a few words, the bride speech page is for her, and the speech hub has everything else. And if the blank page is winning, our speech writing service is there for mums as much as best men.
Frequently asked questions
Does the mother of the bride give a speech?
Tradition gives the speech to the father of the bride, but mother of the bride speeches are increasingly common. Mums speak when dad is not around, does not want to, when both parents want a turn, or simply because mum is the best person to talk about her daughter.
What should a mother of the bride speech include?
Introduce yourself and welcome the guests, thank the people who have mattered in your daughter’s life (dad above all), pay tribute to your daughter with real examples, say something kind about the groom, then offer a little advice and raise a toast to the newlyweds.
How long should a mother of the bride speech be?
The usual guidance is six to ten minutes, and seven to ten is a decent target. If your material is strong, eleven or twelve minutes is fine. If you and her dad are both speaking, aim for not much more than fifteen minutes between you.
Should the mother of the bride mention a father who has died?
Yes, a reference is necessary, but keep it short so it does not reduce you and the bride to tears. Let people know he is missed by many, raise a glass to him, and move on with the speech.
