Newquay Stag Do

Newquay has carried the title of Britain’s stag capital for years, and I can see why. It’s a proper surf town on the north Cornish coast, with golden beaches, a town centre you can stagger round in an evening and a summer crowd that’s there for exactly the same reason you are. A Newquay stag do feels like a weekend abroad, only with pasties, and nobody has to remember a passport.

The trick is to plan the days around the sea and the nights around the town. Get the lads into wetsuits in the morning, let the Atlantic knock the stag about for a bit, then send everyone back out once they’ve dried off and convinced themselves they’re natural surfers.

Surfing is the obvious one, and Fistral Beach is the famous spot. A surfing lesson is the great leveller. The lad who never stops talking about his gym routine will spend most of it face down in the shallows. Book a lesson with an instructor rather than hiring boards and hoping for the best.

Coasteering is my favourite thing to do here. You scramble along the rocks, swim through gullies and jump off ledges into the sea, with a guide who knows where the water is deep enough. A sea fishing trip out of the harbour is the calmer option, unless someone’s had a big night, in which case it gets very lively over the side of the boat.

If the weather turns (it’s Cornwall, it might), the usual land-based activities are on offer within driving distance. Check the packages below for what’s running.

The nights are compact. Most of the bars and clubs sit in and around the town centre, on Fore Street, East Street and Central Square, so once you’re out you can walk everywhere. The Sailors Arms on Fore Street is a Newquay institution and a fair shout for later in the night. In summer the town is rammed with groups like yours, which is half the fun.

Drink local while you’re there. Tribute from St Austell is the pint you’ll see on most bars, and Cornish cider goes down far too easily after a day in the sea. Pace it, though. A hangover and an Atlantic swell are a terrible combination, and I’d keep Sunday morning well clear of anything involving a boat.

Newquay’s one catch is that it’s a long way from almost everywhere. Driving down from the North or the Midlands eats a big chunk of a Newquay stag weekend, so I’d look at flying into Cornwall Airport Newquay (check which UK airports have routes that season) or getting the train, which usually means a change onto the branch line. Once you’re there, the town is small enough to walk, and taxis cover the beaches further out.

If most of the group lives in the South West, Torquay or Plymouth are easier to reach and still put you by the sea.

• Book early for summer. June to September is peak season, and houses for a big group go quickly. Late spring and early autumn are quieter, and the sea is still fine in a wetsuit.
• Watch the August dates. The Boardmasters festival takes over Newquay in early August. Brilliant if you’ve got tickets, a headache if you just want a bed.
• Keep the fancy dress daft, not rude. Newquay has a history of cracking down on mankinis and offensive costumes, and doormen will turn away a group they think is trouble. A ridiculous outfit for the stag and matching T-shirts for the rest is the safe bet. Our stag do costumes are a good place to start.
• Bring ID. Many town centre bars and clubs scan ID, so everyone carries photo ID, even the lad who looks forty.
• Respect the sea. Swim between the flags, listen to the lifeguards and never go in after a night out.

Newquay is small, so the decision is easy: stay in or close to the town centre. Most of the bars and clubs sit on Fore Street, East Street and Central Square, so once you’re out you can walk everywhere, and nobody has to organise a lift home after the Sailors Arms. Taxis cover the beaches further out, so you don’t need to sleep by the surf to get a lesson in.

For a big group I’d rent a house rather than splitting across rooms. It keeps everyone together and gives you a base to dry off in after a day in the sea.

My practical tip: book early for summer. June to September is peak season, and houses for a big group go quickly. Watch the August dates too, because the Boardmasters festival takes over the town in early August, which is brilliant if you’ve got tickets and a headache if you just want a bed. Late spring and early autumn are quieter and easier to book.

Friday Fly into Cornwall Airport Newquay or get the train down the branch line, because the drive eats a big chunk of the weekend. Check in, then head into the town centre for a first night round Fore Street and East Street. Get a pint of Tribute in everyone’s hand and remind them to carry photo ID, as many bars scan it.

Saturday Wetsuits on. Book a surfing lesson at Fistral Beach and watch the gym bore spend most of it face down in the shallows. If the group wants more of a thrill, swap it for coasteering, scrambling along the rocks and jumping into the sea with a guide. Dry off, get the stag into something daft but not rude (no mankinis), and go out for the big night. A bar crawl round Fore Street, East Street and Central Square does the job, with the Sailors Arms for later on. Go easy on the Cornish cider. It goes down far too easily after a day in the sea.

Sunday Keep the morning well clear of anything involving a boat, and nobody goes in the water after a night out. I’d get a pasty in the stag, then save the last of the energy for something on dry land, like go karting, before the trip home.