Shooting Stag Do

A shooting stag do is where all those hours on Call of Duty finally get tested against the real thing. I’m talking proper firearms on a supervised range, with an instructor at your elbow and the stag discovering that recoil is a lot less fun than it looks on the telly. It’s loud and competitive, and it settles the “who’s the best shot” argument for good.

There’s a catch for anyone planning this at home. UK gun law is strict, so live firearms ranges are mostly an abroad thing. The classic spots are in Eastern Europe, where cities like Krakow, Budapest, Bratislava, Prague and Riga have ranges that cater for stag groups. If you’re staying in the UK, you shoot something else (clay pigeons, air rifles or laser clays), and I’ll come to those in a minute.

Most stag activities reward fitness, bravery or being sixteen stone of rugby player. Shooting rewards a steady hand and a bit of patience, which means the quiet lad from the stag’s office can comfortably beat the loudmouth cousin. That’s exactly the sort of upset you want on a stag do.

It’s also short and sharp. Range sessions tend to be a couple of hours including the safety briefing, which leaves the rest of the day for food, a nap and a long night out. Packages usually let you choose from a menu of guns, from pistols up to rifles, with a set number of rounds for each. Some ranges let you try an assault rifle, which is the bit the lads will still be talking about at the wedding.

Keep score. Lowest total buys the first round that evening, or wears something ridiculous to dinner. The stag goes first, naturally, so everyone gets a good look at his technique.

• No drinking beforehand. None. Not a cheeky pint at lunch, not a hair of the dog. Ranges will turn away anyone who’s been drinking, and they’re right to. Book it for the morning or early afternoon and save the beers for after.
• Bring ID. You’ll need photo ID, and abroad that means your passport. Whoever forgets it gets to watch from the café.
• Do what the instructor says. Ranges are supervised and the staff are strict about where you point things. This is the one part of the weekend where the stag doesn’t get to play up.
• Check what’s included. Packages vary in how many guns and rounds you get, and whether transfers from your hotel are part of the deal. Check with the provider before the group starts arguing about it.
• Sensible shoes. The range will give you ear and eye protection. Flip-flops and hot brass casings don’t mix, so wear proper footwear.

Not everyone can get a weekend abroad signed off, and that’s fine. The UK has plenty of shooting that doesn’t need a passport. Clay pigeon shooting is the obvious one, with real shotguns and orange discs flying across a field, and it usually ends near a country pub. Air rifle ranges are a gentler option. Laser clay shooting uses converted guns with no live ammo at all, so it can work almost anywhere there’s a bit of space.

If the group wants something more tactical, airsoft gives you realistic replicas and proper skirmishes in the woods, and riot and SWAT training throws in batons, shields and a lot of shouting.

If you’re going abroad for the guns, let the city do the rest. A Krakow stag do pairs the range with a lively old town and plenty of bars, and a Budapest stag do adds thermal baths, which are the best hangover cure I know of. My order of play is the range on Saturday morning, a long lunch, then the bars. Don’t put anything on Sunday morning. Trust me.