Tank Driving Stag Do

A tank driving stag do puts the lads behind the controls of an actual armoured vehicle and lets them churn up a muddy field. It’s every childhood fantasy in one go, with a bit of the A-Team thrown in. You get a briefing from an instructor, climb in through a hatch that was never designed for anyone who’s had a full English, then trundle across rough ground in something that weighs more than your street.

Venues use ex-military vehicles on private land, and the instructor will usually ride along to stop you parking it in a hedge. Depending on the package, you might get a go in a few different vehicles, from lighter tracked carriers up to proper tanks.

Driving a tank is good. Flattening something with it is better. Some packages let you crush an old car, which is deeply satisfying and makes for a brilliant video. Others offer tank paintball, where you take on another crew in a battle on the move. Our paintball stag do page has more on how tank paintball works.

If part of the group would rather drive something faster, some venues have other vehicles on site too. Have a look at 4×4 off roading if that’s more your speed.

Nobody says no to driving a tank. It’s the rare stag activity that appeals to the adventurous lot, the petrolheads and the dads all at once, and you don’t need any skill to enjoy it. Going slowly is half the fun, because you’ve got time to wave at everyone.

It’s also gold for the speech. A photo of the groom popping out of a hatch in a borrowed helmet is worth more than any story. Bring a camera (there’s a chest-mounted one in the kit list below), and make sure the stag goes last so the whole group can watch him stall it.

• Driving licence. Some venues ask for a valid licence and others don’t. Check before you go so nobody gets left in the car park.
• No booze. You’re driving a tank. Save it for later.
• Dress for mud. Old clothes and boots. Overalls are often provided, but the mud has a way of finding you.
• Size limits. Hatches are tight. If anyone is very tall or broad, ask the venue first.
• Getting there. Tank venues are out in the countryside (the packages we list include places like Hampshire and Yorkshire), so plan transport and a sober driver for the trip back.

Tank days are out in the sticks, so base yourselves in a city nearby for the night. If your venue is in the Midlands, a Nottingham stag do works well, and further north a Leeds stag do has plenty going on. If the stag is a proper petrolhead, swap the second day for a track day and go from the slowest vehicle on the weekend to the fastest.